i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
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You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
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Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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