They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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