Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize