Define "chronic" masturbator.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
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Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
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Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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