First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
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