I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
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I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
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Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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