Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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