just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You ruined the universe
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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