I feel like I'm in dance class right now
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize