Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize