Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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