Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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