Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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