I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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