can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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