I can tuck mytits in my pants
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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