I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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