There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
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i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
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I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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