It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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