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I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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