so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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