I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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