I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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