Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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