I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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