True but thats because hes a fetus.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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