I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
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she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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