It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
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Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
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Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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