Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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