covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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