Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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