"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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