i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I color on your dick again?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize