her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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