You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize