Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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