my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i now understand why vodka
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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