are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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