Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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