I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize