I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
love makes seman taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I enjoy the company of your penis
My feet surprised me
Randomize