Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
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Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
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it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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