Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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