is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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