At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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