She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize