I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
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How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
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I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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