I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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