NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize