If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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